5 Times People Misinterpreted Jim and Spock's Relationship
by SnarkyMuffins
Summary: And 1 Time They Got It Right. Otherwise known as the crew of the Enteprise are much too observant for their own good. I do not own Star Trek or its characters. Warning for language and seemingly sexual situations that are actually innocent in nature. Rated M to be safe.


5 Times People Misinterpreted Spock's and Jim's Relationship and 1 Times They Got It Right

1: Uhura

Nyota had somehow completely missed any and all signs that everyone else seemed to pick up like hound dogs. She didn't pride herself in being over-dramatic, nor overly observant, but it was easy to say that she felt completely out of the loop when the Bridge Crew, minus Spock and Jim, were all chatting about the newest relationship aboard the Enterprise. Eager to participate, she leaned in closer to Chekov, as if sharing a secret.

"I heard Ensign Lucy and Ensign Phil are banging it." She said with a smirk. The boys, plus Gaila and Christine Chapel all turned to look at her. They looked puzzled, as if her input was mediocre, at best. Gaila snorted.

"That's great, Uhura, but we're not talking about ensigns." She turned back to Christine and the girls giggled. Frustrated, Nyota reached over Sulu and tapped Gaila on the shoulder. The Orion turned to look at her, frowning.

"What?"

"Who are you talking about?" She asked. Sulu raised an eyebrow at her.

"Um, we're talking about the Commander and the Captain." Gaila answered. She shared a look with the rest of the table. Chekov shrugged.

"Ewen I knew that!" He cried triumphantly.

"Yeah…it's kind of obvious, Uhura." Sulu pointed out, rather timidly for him. Nyota was baffled.

"No, I mean, they're just friends." She said with a flick of her wrist, resting her elbow on the table. "It's nothing more than an ensign rumor. I can't believe you guys actually believe that." She twirled her hair, trying to mask her irritation. She'd didn't like talking about Spock, not since their breakup three months ago. He'd been very vague as to why he was dumping her, but that was so typically Vulcan that Nyota would have been paranoid to have read into it. It wasn't because he had feelings for Kirk, was it? Certainly not, Spock hated the Captain, ever since the Narada incident, and before.

"It isn't because of the rumor mill, Uhura. I mean, did you even _see_ what happened on the Bridge?" Gaila asked excitedly. Nyota shuffled through her memories of today's Alpha Shift, but no unusual occurrences came to mind.

"No, it was a pretty normal day, actually." She said. Gaila rolled her eyes.

"C'mon, I just popped into the Bridge and I noticed it right off the bat."

"Just tell me, Gaila."

"Fine," She swapped seats with Sulu so she could be closer to Nyota, "I walked out of the turbolift, and there was Jim, turned around in his chair and staring _right at Spock's ass._" She declared, flipping a curly lock of red hair over her shoulder.

"No…no he wasn't…was he?" Nyota's brow furrowed together. Now that she thought about it, maybe Jim _was_ staring at Spock's ass. Her breath caught in her throat. No fucking way.

-_An Hour Earlier, On The Bridge, Jim's POV-_

I tapped my foot against the floor in front of my chair, my totally awesome, you're-all-my-bitches chair. Nothing had happened for the past half an hour, and before that there was only a small piece of debris, which basically caused an uproar, because hell, that was the most exciting thing we'd seen in forever. The second Spock said: 'Captain, I see some debris that seem to have once been part of a space vessel-' everyone, myself included, practically called for red-alert, Chekov was mere inches away from checking down with engineering to make sure the warp engines were engaged, and Sulu was putting up their shields. Uhura was opening a link to the nearest Starbase, and Spock, well he remained completely still, watching with what I thought was mild amusement.

So, we over-reacted. We were all jumpy, expecting an armada of Klingons to come out of nowhere, or maybe a Romulan ship. But really, who could blame us? The Narada incident had only been about six months ago, and after the trauma this young crew, and devilishly handsome and young captain had been through together, it only made sense that we'd be on edge.

Anyway, now I was knocking my feet together and resting my elbow on the arm of my chair just waiting for a fucking fly to appear or something. Except flies didn't exist in space. Damn.

That was when I decided to look at each Bridge member, plus Scotty who always seemed to be up here rather than down in the bowels of the ship, keeping it running like he's supposed to. Chekov was hunched over and doing something on his PADD, probably looking at porn (hey, he was only seventeen), Sulu was picking at a hang-nail, Uhura was redoing her pony tail, Scotty was tugging on the end of his shirt, and Spock was bent over his console looking through the scanner. Everything was as it should be, except…

I spun around to look at Spock again. He was bent over, so his pants were stretched tighter over his thighs and butt, but…they were inside out. The seam was sticking out slightly, and the fabric was more a faded black, borderline gray rather than the onyx color they usually were. I stifled my laughter. How Spock had ever managed to put on his regulation pants on inside out, and not notice was beyond him. Vulcan's didn't make little mistakes like that. But, he _was _half-human.

2: Chekov

Chekov, Sulu, Spock, and Jim were all eating a late dinner; it must have been 2300 hours already. The only people awake were those who did the night shift, and most of them we're either on the Bridge or down in engineering, or Sickbay. But, these men were still awake because they had to beam down to some planet's surface (Chekov couldn't remember the name of it) to discuss the trading and transport of dilithium crystals. The negotiations took longer than expected, causing the landing party to run late. By the time they returned to the ship, they were all hungry (because the Ambassadors of planet what-ya-mi-call-it were very rude hosts and offered no substances nor beverages that they could enjoy during their tedious negotiations), so they came down to the mess hall for a fruit salad (Spock), pasta (Sulu), shchi (Chekov), and a double decker hamburger with mustard, relish, and ketchup on a whole wheat bun with an old fashioned Coke-a-Cola and French fries with vinegar, salt, pepper, BBQ sauce, and ketchup, or what Doctor McCoy would call 'a one way ticket to clogged arteries' (Jim).

Most of the time they ate in silence, but occasionally Sulu and Chekov would share a few words, or Jim would talk at Spock, who answered by popping a piece of pineapple in his mouth. Then, Spock decided to actually talk to Jim.

"Captain, we have yet to bring up the issue of me walking in on you playing with yourself." Spock says out of the blue between bites of pineapple and strawberries. Chekov chokes on his Russian soup, and shares a wide-eyed look with Sulu, who is fighting desperately to hide a grin.

"It doesn't really matter Spock, I mean it's too late for me to play with you now anyways."

"Indeed, however I do not understand why you were playing with yourself to begin with."

"Oh, I just wanted to make sure I was prepared for tonight, that's all." Jim says, waving it off. Spock seems to agree that that is a reasonable answer and eats a blueberry. Chekov excuses himself, and Sulu follows. Once they are out of the mess hall, they burst into laughter.

"So, they really are doing it." Sulu clarifies once they calm down enough to actually talk.

"Wes!" Chekov fists the air, and the two friends laugh a while longer.

_-Eleven Hours Earlier, Jim's Quarters-_

He knew what Spock would do, so he tried to think of all the ways to counter him without giving up any important piece. Jim studied the chess board, chin resting on the heel on his hand. His door buzzer buzzed and Jim called for them to come in. Spock stepped inside, hands clasped behind his back. He took in the sight of Jim playing chess by himself.

"Captain, am I interrupting?" Spock asked. Jim shrugged and shook his head, sighing.

"Nope."

"Do you wish to accompany me to the transport room?" He asked, back so rigid it looked like it might break. Jim stood.

"Yes, of course Mr. Spock." They walked out of Jim's quarters and headed to the turbolift. Jim was replaying the chess game in his head and Spock was saying something about the botany lab. He wasn't paying attention, however. He needed to beat Spock tonight at that chess game after they sorted things about with the inhabitants of…whatever that planet was called. Some with four after it, Jim was pretty sure.

3: Leonard (Bones)

The planet was inhabited, as far as Leonard could tell. He, Kirk, and Spock had all beamed down to try and find a cure for some new virus or the other that was infecting the crew of the Enterprise. While not deadly, it still hindered the productivity of the starship, and many uninfected people had to work double shifts, which in turn caused sleep deprivation. Leonard had been treating people left and right, his Sickbay was overrun with nurses, and crewmen that had the worst of the virus. The symptoms included a runny nose, coughing, sore throat, aches throughout the body, headaches (and migraines, depending on the stage of the virus), vomiting, and illusions (although only one person so far had suffered this symptom, a young ensign by the name of Tina Gabriel, but she had barely passed her psychological exam, so…)

Therefore, Leonard was dragged down to the planet's surface, because clearly Christine was incompetent and couldn't look for a cure. And, as per usual, he was cast aside by the mighty duo A.K.A Kirk and Spock. He didn't know what gave them the idea that they were capable of finding a cure on their own, given their limited medical knowledge, but that didn't stop them from going off together. With a roll of his eyes, Leonard went his own way, scanning plants and comparing their healing properties (if they had any) to the genetic makeup of the virus. Sometimes it would alter some strands, but mostly the sequence went unaffected.

Leonard had stumbled upon an odd looking yellow-purple plant after about an hour of looking. It was poking out from between two gray rocks. After comparing the data of the plant and the virus, he found that the secreting liquids in the stem of the unusual plant could quite possible hold the key for the cure. Smiling victoriously, he plucked the plant, mindful of the precious stem. He wrapped it in some gauze that he carried around, and put it in his medical bag. He managed to find a few more patches, and he took all of it.

He was still looking when he heard a short grunt. Concerned, Leonard approached the sound. "Jim?" He called, rounding the corner, only to stop in his tracks. Dust seemed to have been kicked up, settling in the air. And there, only a few steps in front of him were Spock and Jim. Spock was sprawled out on his back, hair disheveled, and face flushed green. His knees were bent and drawn slightly towards his chest, and there was Jim, laying _between_ his legs, hands gripping Spock's ribcage, his own hair ruffled. Jim's trousers seemed to be barely hanging onto his hips, and Spock's tunic was half ridden up, so his waist was reveled. That skin, too, was blushed green. Jim's own face was tinted pink, and his breath seemed slightly hitched.

So, Leonard just stood there, mouth agape, eyes wide, and horror replacing the bone marrow in his body. He managed to blink some dust out of his eyes, but when he got done, the terrifying vision hadn't gone away.

"Oh, hey Bones." Jim greeted casually. "Sorry, Spock." He grinned sheepishly at his first officer and picked himself up off the ground. Spock followed suit, pushing down his tunic and brushing the dust off of it. He fixed his hair with one, practiced stroke. The strands laid flat once again. Jim hiked up his pants and brushed dirt off of his knees. He ran on hand through his hair.

"I found the cure," Leonard said, still in shock, "possibly." He added after a moment's thought. Jim grinned widely.

"Awesome. Oh, Spock and I saw this-" Bones held up a hand to stop him.

"I don't need to know Jim, honestly." The doctor pleaded. Jim shrugged and shared a look with Spock (since _when_ did they have their own looks?!), and took out his communicator. He called the Enterprise and Scotty's voice came over the speakers.

"Yer ready?" He asked.

"Three to beam up, Scotty." Jim confirmed. Their figures hazed as their atoms broke apart. Bones cursed his life.

_-Ten Minutes Earlier, Unnamed Planet-_

"See anything yet, Spock?" Jim called. He was half inside a rock crevice, searching for something, anything that could possibly cure the epidemic running rampant through the Enterprise. Him and Bones had only been uninfected by pure luck, and Spock was probably resistant because he was half-Vulcan.

"Negative, Captain." The Vulcan reported. Spock's face appeared by the crevice. "Has Doctor McCoy attempted to contact you?"

"No. He'd probably not having any luck either. This is going to be a dead end just like the other planets." Jim sighed. He crawled out of the crevice and smiled. "We'll be okay though. Bones said that some people have just recovered on their own, like it's just a cold or something."

"I highly doubt this disease is nothing more than the common cold, Captain. Dr. McCoy had analyzed it and reports that the disease is a virus."

"I know." Jim sighed, running his fingers through his hair. While he was grateful that the disease was not deadly, and he didn't have to worry about it killing his crew, he still wasn't doing his job as Captain. His job was to make sure his crew was working productively…and to keep them safe. Somehow, they'd been exposed to this virus, and it was all on Jim's watch. Everything was. It was one the many burdens of being captain.

The clattered of rocks made Jim's head snap up. Spock's did too. Jim made a hand gesture and Spock slunk off to examine an area while Jim went off to search another area. He didn't see anything, so he headed back to Spock. He was close to the Vulcan when a movement flashed in the corner of his eye. A humanoid life form was crouched on top of a rock cliff, black, pearly eyes flashing in the sunlight. It's gray skin blended in perfectly with the surrounding rock. The life form lifted something akin to a gun, or phaser and fired. With a shout of 'Spock!', Jim hurled himself at the Vulcan. The force of Jim's body weight crashing into the front of the Vulcan caused him to fall backwards onto his back, Jim falling on top of him. The human yanked his phaser free of his belt and fired at the creature, just to scare it. The humanoid made a startled sound and scampered away.

Breathing heavily from the sudden adrenaline rush and following exertion, he slumped against Spock, hands gripping his First Officers ribcage for support.

"Jim?" That was Bone's questioning voice. By the confused expression on his face, he hadn't heard the phaser fire. Jim greeted him, apologized to Spock and stood. Jim couldn't say he hadn't seen this coming. Since when had any supposedly uninhabited planet really been uninhabited? He sighed internally. He got used to it a long time ago.

4: Scotty

Gaila, Nyota, Leonard, Spock, Jim, Sulu, Chekov, and Scotty all sat around the table eating food. Gaila ate cheese pizza, Nyota stuck with mac and cheese, Leonard had the wholesome meal of chicken caeser salad, Spock, deciding to mix it up obviously, got fruit salad, Jim, also deciding to mix it up, got a double decker burger with ketchup, mustard, and relish with an old fashioned Coka-A-Cola, and French fries with vinegar, salt, pepper, ketchup and BBQ sauce, Sulu got tacos, Chekov got French toast (because this crew loves any food that has 'French' in its name), and Scotty, which came as a big surprise to everyone, got a foot long turkey sandwich.

Everyone was chatting casually with each other, except for Leonard and Spock, because apparently they both had sticks up their asses and Spock really only talks to Nyota and Jim anyway. It was pretty quiet around the table when Spock decided to speak.

"Captain, my back is still suffering the aftereffects of yesterday's activities." He said, taking a bite of pineapple. Scotty spit soda everywhere. No one except Spock and Jim looked at him funny. Everyone else was busy staring, jaws unhinged, at the Commander and the Captain.

"Oh, yeah, sorry. I shouldn't have been so rough." He smiled and popped a fry into his mouth. Leonard didn't hide his sound of disapproval. Scotty was pretty sure that he made it on instinct now, because he didn't even seem aware that he made it at all.

"Perhaps next time we should start out slower." Spock suggested.

"Mhm, my movements were kind of erratic."

"Indeed. It was highly illogical, for one will never finish without precision."

"I'm surprised, actually. I thought your superior Vulcan body could handle a lowly human like I."

"Captain, I must disagree with the assessment of your person. I do not think you lowly. In fact, I was quite satisfied with your work."

"Yeah, I'm always thorough. Go hard or go home, right?"

"Affirmative." Spock agreed. Scotty stared at them a while longer. Did they remember that they were in public? Like, holy _god._

_-Yesterday, Gym-_

"Thanks, Spock." Jim said as he wiped his face on his towel.

"May I inquire what for?" The Vulcan asked, hands behind his back. Jim was shirtless, and wearing long black shorts. He refused to wear the gay, tight, red pants that were supplied. Spock was still wearing his uniform trousers and boots (Jim was in socks), but his tunic had been discarded. He was wearing his black undershirt now.

"For letting me basically use you as a punching bag. I know I'm not awful at hand to hand, but I need to polish my skills." He said. Spock raised an eyebrow and nodded.

"Indeed, Captain. I was too easily able to overwhelm you on the Bridge. Even with my Vulcan strength, you offered little resistance."

"I let you beat me up, Spock."

"An illogical course of action, Captain." Jim grinned.

"So, I can flip you now?" He asked, advancing on the Vulcan.

"You may attempt to do so. However, as a Vulcan, my bone and tissue density surpasses that of a human, therefore I am, in reality, much heavier than I appear." Jim rolled his eyes.

"Duly noted." Jim waited until Spock unclasped his hands from behind his back, and was easily able to flip the Vulcan. He had no doubt Spock must have assisted somehow, even though the painful thud suggested otherwise.

Spock lay on his back on the floor, looking just as calm and stoic as ever, but he didn't leap right onto his feet and demand Jim to do it again, for practice's sake and all. Jim leaned over his friend.

"Are you okay?" He asked. Spock raised an eyebrow and slowly curled upwards, as if he was doing a situp.

"I am…mostly unaffected, albeit I appear to have damaged my back."

"You mean _I _damaged your back," Jim corrected as he kneeled, "I'm sorry."

"There is no need to apologize, Jim. It was I that volunteered for the flip."

"How badly are you hurt?"

"A bruised muscles, or perhaps a torn one. I do not believe I will need any doctoral assistance." Spock reported. Jim nodded.

"Sorry." He said guiltily. Spock watched with carefully concealed amusement.

"Jim, as a Vulcan-"

"Yeah, I know. You have some cool healing ability or whatever." The blonde smirked. "I got it."

5: Sulu

"Fuck!" The cry was muffled, but pierced Sulu's ears as he passed by Spock's quarters. He stopped abruptly, glanced around and when he saw no one in sight, edged closer to the door. Cries of 'fuck' did a sufficient job at piquing his interest.

"Such profanities are not warranted." Spock said, voice as calm and smooth as ever, echoing clearly from behind the door.

"That fucking hurt, Spock! What the hell? I mean, what _is_ that thing?" Jim sounded angered yet distressed at the same time. Sulu couldn't help the inappropriate thoughts bubbling to the surface. Will all that's been happening lately, it wasn't really surprising. He had heard rumors that a Vulcan penis was not totally the same as a human. He heard Gaila say that it had double ridges and Christine (although never having actually seen Spock's before, that honor was all Doctor McCoy's) claims that they don't have testicles, but that they keep their balls on the inside of their body, the lower back to be exact. Of course, Sulu wasn't keen to go searching on the internet about Vulcan penises, lest someone actually check the history, and Nyota refused to confirm or defer any rumors that were floating about, and Leonard, although tempted, couldn't because of patient-doctor confidentiality.

"I apologize, Captain. Had I known it would have injured you, I would have warned you beforehand." Spock replied smoothly. Sulu bit his lip and scampered off before he got caught snooping, if he hadn't already by the security cameras. Oh yeah, they were so banging it.

_-Inside Spock's Quarters-_

Jim was sitting cross legged on Spock's bed, hands playing with the perfectly folded blankets whilst Spock rummaged through a drawer. The Vulcan took a little object out of it and carried it over to the bed.

"Captain, this is a miniaturized version of the deserts of Vulcan." Spock said. He unfurled his fist to show Jim a little round globe, much like a snow globe, that was all red and gray. Red sand was sitting at the bottom, and the sky of the globe was painted gray. Spock gave it a gentle shake, causing some of the powdery red sand at the bottoms to float and swirl in the globe.

"Is that real, Vulcan sand?" Jim inquired, fascinated. The sand wasn't unlike Earth sand, at least texture wise, as far as he could tell, but the color was more akin to clay before it was refined rather than lake or beach sand. While beach and lake sand was a fine, pale color, this sand was a rusty red, like human blood after it dries, or cherry juice.

"Affirmative." Spock gave a sharp nod.

"What's the purpose of it?" Jim asked. He thought he cornered Spock into admitting that he owned something solely for sentimental reasons, but he quickly responded.

"The top of the globe releases. Vulcan sand can be used as a nerve relaxant," Spock unscrewed the top of the globe and pinched some of the sand between his fingers, "When rubbed against the skin, the texture of the sand relaxed muscles and nerves in that region of the body." He explained. As demonstration, he rubbed the granules against his forearm. Jim thought he could see some of the tension in his arm relax, but he was probably just being crazy. "Captain, would you like some?" Spock asked, less formal than usual. Jim noticed that Spock often relaxed around him, like he didn't have to have a stick up his ass the entire time they hung out.

"Um, sure." Jim agreed. Spock, instead of giving Jim his own pinch, rubbed it against Jim's forearm himself. The first thing Jim noticed was the texture. It wasn't like Earth sand, it was rougher and sharper, like rocks digging into his skin with each rub. The second thing he noticed was the increasing unpleasant sensation the sand was against his skin. Instead of relaxing his arm, he felt unbearable pressure build up.

"Fuck!" He cried. Spock instantly stopped his movements, drawing the sand away from Jim and returning it to the globe. He fixed the top back on and sat the globe aside.

"Such profanities are not warranted." Spock reprimanded lightly.

"That fucking hurt, Spock! What the hell? I mean, what _is_ that thing?" Jim growled in pain as he scrubbed viciously as his arm.

"I apologize, Captain. Had I known it would have injured you, I would have warned you beforehand." Spock said, not fazed by the hurt man on his bed. After a moment of silence, Spock spoke again. "It was Vulcan sand, Jim. As I said before."

"No, it's some sort of twisted black magic. Sand doesn't not hurt that fucking bad." The blonde hissed through his still clenched teeth.

"The relaxant seemed to have the adverse affect on humans. Fascinating." Spock picked up his globe and studied it for a moment. He stood and swiftly replaced it in the drawer.

"Fascinating my ass."

+1: Sarek

Sarek stepped off of the transporter pad, hands instinctively locking behind his back. Captain Kirk and his son were standing by the door. Jim dipped his head in greeting, and Spock gave the traditional Vulcan salute. Sarek repeated his son's motion.

"Greetings, Captain, Commander." He said coolly. Although Spock and he had grown closer after the Narada incident, in public Sarek was determined (illogically so) to still be the harsh, bitter, unloving father he was often portrayed as. He was, sometimes even more so than T'Pau, considered the very emblem of Vulcan culture, despite him marrying a human. He could now accept his own emotions more than he ever had before, to himself at least, and even Spock occasionally, but to the rest of the galaxy he was still Ambassador Sarek, cold-hearted father of the hybrid Spock.

"Hi, Ambassador." Jim said with a smile. They were picking up several delegates and bring them to Starbase 12, were they would conference about the most _logical_ course of action of dealing with the Klingons that have been attacking Federation vessels. Since the meetings was sudden, only the Andorian, Vulcan, and Human ambassadors were available. The Enterprise just so happened to be the closest to New Vulcan, so they swung by and picked up Sarek.

"Father, will you be joining us on the Bridge?" Spock inquired, head tilting slightly to one side. Sarek felt a flash of emotion. It had been a while since Spock had felt comfortable enough, with himself and others, to refer to Sarek as 'father'.

"Affirmative, if it is not too much trouble." Sarek looked over at Jim who shrugged.

"No shit has been happening, so I'd say it is fine." He smiled again, and Sarek raised an eyebrow at the young man's language choice. He could remember days when Amanda's emotions were heightened and she would often curse to oblivion and back.

"Very well." Sarek said. He gestured for them to lead the way and they did. Hanging behind slightly, Sarek observed the walking men. Spock's hands were clasped loosely behind his back as he listened to Jim talk. The human was gesturing vaguely with his hands, in the most illogical way. It was something Amanda used to do frequently. When confronted about it, she simply said that it was how she expressed emotion during her spiels. Sarek was not ashamed to admit that he had been more than mildly amused by this.

Sarek felt an unwelcome smile tugging at the corner of his lips. He recognized the bond between the two of them almost instantly, because it was something he and Amanda shared. Jim was Spock's T'hy'la. He could see it. They were friends now, borderline brothers, and one day, somewhere in the not too distant future, they would be lovers. They may not know it now, but someday they would. Spock would be the calmer, most sensible, logical part of Jim, and Jim would ignite the human within Spock, the side he exploited now, but expressed as a child. They needed each other, even if Jim was oil and Spock was water. It was an illogical, completely unmixable pairing, but they fitted together, like pieces of a puzzle. And with all his logic and pride and dignity, even Sarek could see it, and admit it to himself. They were meant for each other, true love at first sight, as humans might put it. Something totally illogical, but nonetheless true and clearer than day. Something Sarek once had for himself, and something he'd have to let his son have now. It wasn't going to be easy, seeing Spock live with the thing he had lost, seeing Spock live with _his _Amanda. But it was something that he'd have to accept, something he'd have to get used to, and sometime in the not too distant future, he felt an overwhelming joy for his son and his T'hy'la.


End file.
